stole this from the Oatcake, hilarious !
First game in charge, team news announcement….
Tone “Dawson and Macauley will start in the middle of defence. Joleon, you’ll slot in at left back.â€
Lescott “Left back boss?â€
TP “Just think of it as left sided centre half.â€
Lescott “But I’m useless at getting forward?â€
TP “That won’t be a problem son.â€
TP “Morrison and Dorrans, you’ll operate in the cageâ€
“What the f****g hell is the cage??â€
TP “Dave, get The Bible outâ€
Kemp “What about Berahino, Tone?â€
TP “And he is?â€
Kempt “Top scorer, gaff. Little nippy lad….â€
Tone “Berahino, you’re on the left wing son……Wisdom, you’ll play on the rightâ€
Wisdom “But I’m a defender boss?â€
Tone “Your surname is very fitting, son.â€
Tone “….and up top we’ll go with Victor Anichebe.â€
Brown Ideye “What?! Jesus Christ gaffer, the club spent £10m on me.â€
Tone “Can you play as defensive forward?â€
Brown Ideye “Is that even a f***ing position?â€
Tone “Kempy…….bible……â€
Sessegnon “Excuse me, I think you’ve forgotten me Tony?â€
Tone “Nahhhh, we’ll definitely get you on the pitch, no bother son……â€
Sessegnon “Excellent, cheers for that bossâ€
Tone “Kempy, make sure this kiddie is todays mascot…..â€
Read more:
http://oatcakefanzine.proboards.com/thread/238511/ssn-pulis-talks-wba#ixzz3NTyKSYSa