Author Topic: The Commentator Thread (Read 12014 times)

wbako · « **on:** August 31, 2013, 11:31:18 PM »

Feel free to update this thread with any comments from commentators/pundits which made you you laugh. cry, scream or just say "what??".

I'll start with a particularly insightful comment from the walking advert for early retirement: John Motson.

....said during a contentious moment in the Norwich vs Southampton match on MOTD...

"Oohhh, that's either a penalty...or it's not!" Yes John, you're correct. When a player handles the ball in his own box the chances are that it will result in a penalty, or it wont. I'm sure this won't be the last comment from my mate John.

So keep this thread in mind when you're watching a match and you hear something funny. And lets face it, with pundits like Townsend and Owen, this thread should be choc-a-block within a few weeks.

east-stand-nick · « **Reply #1 on:** August 31, 2013, 11:35:00 PM »

Michael Owen's monotonous voice on BT Sport, ARGH

wbako · « **Reply #2 on:** August 31, 2013, 11:39:15 PM »

General musings on commentators and pundits are also welcome!

Quote from: east-stand-nick on August 31, 2013, 11:35:00 PM

Michael Owen's monotonous voice on BT Sport, ARGH

Yeah, horrendous isn't it. I read that Owen went through vigorous media training during the summer; well BT should demand a refund - it hasn't worked! Zzzzzzzz

LiamTheBaggie · « **Reply #3 on:** August 31, 2013, 11:42:50 PM »

Paul Merson: "if you don't give him a chance, what chance has he got"

A few weeks ago he said: "He's the cleverest player I've ever seen... y'know... brain-wise"

To be honest, we could just fill this thread with quotes from Merson. What they see in him I'll never know.

wbako · « **Reply #4 on:** August 31, 2013, 11:46:12 PM »

Quote from: LiamTheBaggie on August 31, 2013, 11:42:50 PM

Paul Merson: "if you don't give him a chance, what chance has he got"

A few weeks ago he said: "He's the cleverest player I've ever seen... y'know... brain-wise"

To be honest, we could just fill this thread with quotes from Merson. What they see in him I'll never know.

Jesus! I had forgotten about Merson. This thread could be one hell of a cluster****.

LiamTheBaggie · « **Reply #5 on:** August 31, 2013, 11:54:49 PM »

Quote from: wbako on August 31, 2013, 11:46:12 PM

Jesus! I had forgotten about Merson. This thread could be one hell of a cluster****.

He said today "It'll still be 0-0 tomorrow night".

Within minutes, he was screeching goal - Stoke had scored.

Legend · « **Reply #6 on:** August 31, 2013, 11:55:28 PM »

A good one on Match of the day just. Something along the lines of..

Savage "It's a penalty"

Owen "Not a penalty for me"

Savage "He's kicked his left leg!"

Owen "It might or might not be a penalty but we could argue about this all night"

LiamTheBaggie · « **Reply #7 on:** August 31, 2013, 11:57:07 PM »

Paul Merson: "looks like he has discolated his shoulder and he's in pad bain"

wbako · « **Reply #8 on:** September 01, 2013, 12:01:23 AM »

Quote from: Legend on August 31, 2013, 11:55:28 PM

A good one on Match of the day just. Something along the lines of..

Savage "It's a penalty"

Owen "Not a penalty for me"

Savage "He's kicked his left leg!"

Owen "It might or might not be a penalty but we could argue about this all night"

Yeah, saw that. Owen was tying himself in knots.

...not a pen...there's contact so he's right to go down...could be a pen...not a pen for me...

Lord help us.

GrGr · « **Reply #9 on:** September 01, 2013, 12:05:18 AM »

Quote from: Legend on August 31, 2013, 11:55:28 PM

A good one on Match of the day just. Something along the lines of..

Savage "It's a penalty"

Owen "Not a penalty for me"

Savage "He's kicked his left leg!"

Owen "It might or might not be a penalty but we could argue about this all night"

Hahaha, reads like something from Monty Python or something

east-stand-nick · « **Reply #10 on:** September 07, 2013, 04:24:26 PM »

Me and my mates have a Soccer Saturday drinking game, one of the rules is to drink whenever Merson says something unfathomable/nonsensical/ridiculous. To be honest, the game could be just that rule alone and you'd be p***ed by half time!

Jack Russell · « **Reply #11 on:** September 10, 2013, 09:33:42 AM »

Chris Kamara always a good view when reporting on a match

WBASPE77 · « **Reply #12 on:** September 10, 2013, 05:04:42 PM »

I have never liked Lawro or Hansen they are so poor when it comes talking about times outside the top six. Gary Neville is a very good pundit and commentator and he does a lot of good analysis on all the twenty clubs in the Premiership. I remember last season at home to Southampton did a very good analysis on the Mulumbu and Yacob partnership .

wbako · « **Reply #13 on:** September 10, 2013, 08:40:59 PM »

If ITV can't find a better pundit than Andy "that's the Ukraine team there" Townsend then I seriously fear for them. What a plank.

WBAinDEVON · « **Reply #14 on:** September 10, 2013, 08:44:12 PM »

Quote from: wbako on September 10, 2013, 08:40:59 PM

If ITV can't find a better pundit than Andy "that's the Ukraine team there" Townsend then I seriously fear for them. What a plank.

This could turn out to be a funny thread

Quakes Fan · « **Reply #15 on:** September 11, 2013, 11:31:52 AM »

beIN Sport, created last year by Al Jazeera, bought the rights to most of the CONCACAF World Cup qualification games. Now, I like Al Jazeera's European coverage.

But last night, during Honduras v Panama, whilst two Yank lads were setting back football coverage a few decades, one of them said, "Izaguirre and Espinoza have really owned Panama on the left side."

I expected the reply to be, "Seriously, dude!"

Is it so important to have Americans talking to an American audience that you hire utter cretins? There simply aren't any American football commentators yet that you can listen to without wanting to take a walk in traffic. ESPN and NBC at least had the good sense to hire Brits.

LiamTheBaggie · « **Reply #16 on:** September 18, 2013, 08:15:51 PM »

Currently watching Marseille vs Arsenal - the hosts have a player called Fanni.

Alan Smith has just said - ""He'll have to do better than that Fanni".

LiamTheBaggie · « **Reply #17 on:** September 24, 2013, 08:59:23 PM »

Just been informed on this on Twitter. The Villa striker Helenius had just had his shorts pulled down by Jan Vertonghen.

Paul Jewel - "His shorts were pulled half way down his trousers"

Hull Baggie · « **Reply #18 on:** September 25, 2013, 01:23:01 PM »

Don Goodman a total dick.
I bought the Molineneux Massacre dvd and his commentary is unbelievable. 1st goal "lucky deflection", 2nd goal "O'Hara unsights Hemmingway just as he was about to save it" (even though he has a clear view and just dropped it!) 3rd "just slips past O'Hara on the post", 4th "another lucky deflection" and 5th "barely creeps over the line"...yes Don 5 lucky goals....Fletchers solitary goal is a "well worked move and a great finish through the defenders leg to unsight the goalkeeper"

Dean Windass (ex Hull City legend backside)Sky used him as a Northern commentator) he was like a fat kid with £5 to spend in a penny sweet shop....giddy with excitement...he was almost breathless when reviewing what had happened in a game.

dont ask me to choose luv · « **Reply #19 on:** September 25, 2013, 05:12:19 PM »

Quote from: Hull Baggie on September 25, 2013, 01:23:01 PM

Don Goodman a total dick.
I bought the Molineneux Massacre dvd and his commentary is unbelievable. 1st goal "lucky deflection", 2nd goal "O'Hara unsights Hemmingway just as he was about to save it" (even though he has a clear view and just dropped it!) 3rd "just slips past O'Hara on the post", 4th "another lucky deflection" and 5th "barely creeps over the line"...yes Don 5 lucky goals....Fletchers solitary goal is a "well worked move and a great finish through the defenders leg to unsight the goalkeeper"

Dean Windass (ex Hull City legend backside)Sky used him as a Northern commentator) he was like a fat kid with £5 to spend in a penny sweet shop....giddy with excitement...he was almost breathless when reviewing what had happened in a game.

I was watching a bit of a match last weekend, Millwall v Charlton, Millwall scored & dingle Don came out with "it was going to take a goal like that to break the deadlock"

yes Don, it really was

LiamTheBaggie · « **Reply #20 on:** September 25, 2013, 05:15:20 PM »

Pretty sure when Goodman said "it's barely crept over the line" it was for Olsson's goal which Hennssey and O'Hara fumbled.

Only when you saw it from side on it was closer to the netting than it was Hennessey but according to Dingle Don, it had barely crept over.

I'm glad he was the commentator that day. He must have been hating it. The whole dynamics of his voice changed after the 4th and 5th

Bilston Dan · « **Reply #21 on:** September 25, 2013, 05:28:51 PM »

I really can't stand Clive Tylseley. His voice goes through me especially when he cries out names like Rooney, he really croons it. I think TV commentators often lack imagination due to the audience actually being able to see what's going on. I mean what else can they really offer apart from the odd statistic?

east-stand-nick · « **Reply #22 on:** September 27, 2013, 04:00:27 PM »

The Goodman commentary that day was disgraceful. Never heard such biased tripe in my life. But I was too busy rolling around the pub floor in laughter by the time the 5th goal went in so I didn't really care

LiamTheBaggie · « **Reply #23 on:** September 27, 2013, 05:21:05 PM »

Did anybody hear Phil Brown the other calling one of our stands "The North Bank"?

Ska-dForLife-WBA · « **Reply #24 on:** September 27, 2013, 06:16:18 PM »

Quote from: LiamTheBaggie on September 27, 2013, 05:21:05 PM

Did anybody hear Phil Brown the other calling one of our stands "The North Bank"?

I think the Brummie Road End was actually called the North Bank originally, until it got its current name in the Sixties. Not sure whether Phil Brown's aware of that or whether he's just an orange imbecile.