West Brom Dot Com

Author Topic: Smacking children  (Read 1026 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Online Dan87uk

  • Junior Baggie
  • **
  • Posts: 207
Re: Smacking children
« Reply #25 on: January 09, 2018, 12:45:17 PM »
To be honest, I don't know why this even a topic being discussed on here...  particularly with such a blunt title.

Any other team's fans coming on here to peak at what we're talking about with regards to an upcoming game (as we do for other teams) are just going to log in and see at the bottom "Smacking Children" in latest posts (7 of the 10 posts it shows were for this topic at one point this morning).

Doesn't really give a good impression does it without any context.
The Only Dependable Thing About The Future Is Uncertainty

Offline dont ask me to choose luv

  • Reserve Baggie
  • ****
  • Posts: 1946
Re: Smacking children
« Reply #26 on: January 09, 2018, 12:54:08 PM »
Only ever smacked my son once, it was when he was 3 (24 now) & I gave him a slap on the bum, I felt terrible for days afterwards.

Had my fair share of smacks when I was a kid & then became a Baggie, guess that explains a lot to those who know me  :P 

There's a few parents I'd like to smack.  :-X
Life is about using the whole box of crayons!

Offline Atomic

  • Reserve Baggie
  • ****
  • Posts: 1011
Re: Smacking children
« Reply #27 on: January 09, 2018, 01:10:26 PM »
A good find and this section really highlights the direction we are heading.

The latest crime figures for the 12 months to March also show an 18% rise in violent crime, including a 20% surge in gun and knife crime. The official figures also show a 26% rise to 723 in the homicide rate, which includes the 96 cases of manslaughter at Hillsborough in 1989.

More alarmingly, the statisticians say the rise in crime is accelerating, with a 3% increase recorded in the year to March 2015, followed by an 8% rise in the following year, and now a 10% increase in the 12 months to this March.


One or two years doesn't mean anything it's too small a sample.

Historically more are being reported now. You only have to look at all the celebrity sex scandals of the 1970's / 80's which were not reported then but have become headlines in the last few years to realise you can't make direct correlations. 20 years ago Rolph Harris and Jimmy Saville were icons. Had social media been around in those days they would never have got away with what they did and that's only two people.

Offline KYA

  • Senior Baggie
  • *****
  • Posts: 4331
Re: Smacking children
« Reply #28 on: January 09, 2018, 01:18:06 PM »

One or two years doesn't mean anything it's too small a sample.

Historically more are being reported now. You only have to look at all the celebrity sex scandals of the 1970's / 80's which were not reported then but have become headlines in the last few years to realise you can't make direct correlations. 20 years ago Rolph Harris and Jimmy Saville were icons. Had social media been around in those days they would never have got away with what they did and that's only two people.
As bad as those crimes are we are not discussing  crimes of a sexual nature which are still committed today on an industrial scale despite social media.
 
« Last Edit: January 09, 2018, 01:21:57 PM by KYA »

Offline BigFrank20

  • Reserve Baggie
  • ****
  • Posts: 1011
Re: Smacking children
« Reply #29 on: January 09, 2018, 01:22:47 PM »
A barbaric practice that belongs in the dark ages
BoingBoing, a Baggie born and a Baggie I shall die (one day)

Offline Atomic

  • Reserve Baggie
  • ****
  • Posts: 1011
Re: Smacking children
« Reply #30 on: January 09, 2018, 01:26:26 PM »
As bad as those crimes are we are not discussing  crimes of a sexual nature which are still committed today on an industrial scale despite social media.


I'm just highlighting the fact that far more crimes are detected / reported now than they were back in the day.

Not all, no, but more .

Offline seteefeet

  • Reserve Baggie
  • ****
  • Posts: 1504
Re: Smacking children
« Reply #31 on: January 09, 2018, 01:55:19 PM »
A good find and this section really highlights the direction we are heading.

The latest crime figures for the 12 months to March also show an 18% rise in violent crime, including a 20% surge in gun and knife crime. The official figures also show a 26% rise to 723 in the homicide rate, which includes the 96 cases of manslaughter at Hillsborough in 1989.

More alarmingly, the statisticians say the rise in crime is accelerating, with a 3% increase recorded in the year to March 2015, followed by an 8% rise in the following year, and now a 10% increase in the 12 months to this March.
How much of that is violence against children?

Offline KYA

  • Senior Baggie
  • *****
  • Posts: 4331
Re: Smacking children
« Reply #32 on: January 09, 2018, 02:18:06 PM »
How much of that is violence against children?
The topic had widened out as topics tend to do.

Offline HampshireBaggie

  • Senior Baggie
  • *****
  • Posts: 3149
Re: Smacking children
« Reply #33 on: January 09, 2018, 02:40:05 PM »
I have a 10 month old and an almost 3 year old (girls).

My toddler can be so stubborn and she’s really switched on. Sometimes when she is throwing a tantrum when you really need to get something done i want to give her a little tap on the back of the hand. It’s the short, sharp shock of what you have done, rather than the pain, that would bring her round. But we would never do it, and never have done.

As previously said, it’s barbaric. They are young and finding there place in the world. Pushing boundaries is their way of working out what is what. An adult hitting a child is a poor reflection on the adult, it shows they’ve lost control and have had to resort to violence.

And where do you go once you’ve done it? It could be a dangerous spiral.

Make raised voices a rarity and then when you raise your voice that should be enough to shock them.


Offline skyclad99

  • Reserve Baggie
  • ****
  • Posts: 1445
Re: Smacking children
« Reply #34 on: January 09, 2018, 03:15:28 PM »
To be honest, I don't know why this even a topic being discussed on here...  particularly with such a blunt title.

Any other team's fans coming on here to peak at what we're talking about with regards to an upcoming game (as we do for other teams) are just going to log in and see at the bottom "Smacking Children" in latest posts (7 of the 10 posts it shows were for this topic at one point this morning).

Doesn't really give a good impression does it without any context.

Happen to agree with you Dan.

From reading the thread, I think we all agree that it is wrong so I am not sure what else there is to discuss.
'Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage......'

Offline LiamTheBaggie

  • @westbromcom
  • Global Moderator
  • WBA Manager
  • *****
  • Posts: 11753
Re: Smacking children
« Reply #35 on: January 09, 2018, 07:18:21 PM »
If I did something wrong then my old man wasn't afraid to remind me with a clip round the head -  I assure you, I never bloody did it again - and its made me a much better person. I'd say I'm quite grounded (and old fashioned) for a 22 year old.

As children, we was taught the difference between right and therefore never really required a smack.

There's a fine line however between discipline and abuse.
« Last Edit: January 09, 2018, 07:22:22 PM by LiamTheBaggie »
B_H_Baggie : Dexy : Dudleylad : kris_boing : OldburyWBA
Hull Baggie : LiamTheBaggie : MarkW : Political Cake : tommcneill : WBArgo

Follow WestBrom.com on twitter - https://twitter.com/WestBromcom

Offline 17GD

  • Reserve Baggie
  • ****
  • Posts: 1755
Re: Smacking children
« Reply #36 on: January 10, 2018, 01:09:57 AM »
This is a sore subject for me. I don't agree with the way my parents treated me as a kid (and now, even, as an adult).

As someone who was smacked a lot as a child, now I'm grown up, this is what I think:

Smacking is a physical prompt to encourage the child to stop what they are doing and think. It's ridiculous to smack babies, they can't be reasoned with. But when a small child is doing something that is either dangerous to themselves or someone else, or doing something that is likely to cause stress or anxiety to someone else, they should be GENTLY reminded that their current behaviour is unacceptable. It should only be used as a last resort and should not be used to hurt, but only to shock them out of their state. Smacking should not be issued when angry, and should not be used over trivial matters.

As another example, when an adult is hysterical, sometimes they are slapped, not out of anger but out of concern and to bring them back to their right mind.

Many people today see smacking as a weakness and as bullying. I agree it is bullying if the parent administers smacking as the first port of call, or out of anger. Often this is out of control behaviour. But when administered in a proper way it is good for a child. Why do you think so many lads (in particular) end up in gangs? Often, they haven't had a father figure, someone to issue correction and set boundaries. Or the opposite, where the father has been very heavy handed and a state of anxiety and anger has built up inside the child. I worked at a school for over seven years and this was the case on so many occasions.

And going back to the severity of punishment for wrong-doing, I've heard of kids who were smacked because they spilled something. But on the other hand, my son, who at 2 was pushed so hard in the back by another 2 year old, it left bruises and jarred his neck, should he not have had some physical reminder that his treatment was unacceptable? He'd done it to other kids and speaking to him wasn't having any affect. Sometimes, a child needs 'a taste of their own medicine' in order to understand how their actions have impacted on others.

When I was a kid, I felt more impact from the threat "just you wait till your father gets home!" When I look back, this is emotional abuse and I would never do this to my child. Making threats, making them live in fear is horrendous. Last year I had therapy for anxiety and depression. Believe it or not, a lot of it goes back to being a child and the way you were brought up. I don't really remember the smacks (apart from one that was issued with a studded leather belt), but I do remember the constant threats.

So overall, I agree with smacking your own child, but not out of anger or with the intent to hurt them. It's a physical form of correction when all other avenues have been exhausted.
Way Out West fanzine:
www.facebook.com/WOWfanzine
http://twitter.com/WOWfanzine

My first single 'To The Ground' debuted on BBC Shropshire Introducing and is out now on  www.jonnwalker.bandcamp.com
www.jonnwalker.co.uk
http://Twitter.com/JonnWalker_

Offline KYA

  • Senior Baggie
  • *****
  • Posts: 4331
Re: Smacking children
« Reply #37 on: January 10, 2018, 07:56:12 AM »
This is a sore subject for me. I don't agree with the way my parents treated me as a kid (and now, even, as an adult).

As someone who was smacked a lot as a child, now I'm grown up, this is what I think:

Smacking is a physical prompt to encourage the child to stop what they are doing and think. It's ridiculous to smack babies, they can't be reasoned with. But when a small child is doing something that is either dangerous to themselves or someone else, or doing something that is likely to cause stress or anxiety to someone else, they should be GENTLY reminded that their current behaviour is unacceptable. It should only be used as a last resort and should not be used to hurt, but only to shock them out of their state. Smacking should not be issued when angry, and should not be used over trivial matters.

As another example, when an adult is hysterical, sometimes they are slapped, not out of anger but out of concern and to bring them back to their right mind.

Many people today see smacking as a weakness and as bullying. I agree it is bullying if the parent administers smacking as the first port of call, or out of anger. Often this is out of control behaviour. But when administered in a proper way it is good for a child. Why do you think so many lads (in particular) end up in gangs? Often, they haven't had a father figure, someone to issue correction and set boundaries. Or the opposite, where the father has been very heavy handed and a state of anxiety and anger has built up inside the child. I worked at a school for over seven years and this was the case on so many occasions.

And going back to the severity of punishment for wrong-doing, I've heard of kids who were smacked because they spilled something. But on the other hand, my son, who at 2 was pushed so hard in the back by another 2 year old, it left bruises and jarred his neck, should he not have had some physical reminder that his treatment was unacceptable? He'd done it to other kids and speaking to him wasn't having any affect. Sometimes, a child needs 'a taste of their own medicine' in order to understand how their actions have impacted on others.

When I was a kid, I felt more impact from the threat "just you wait till your father gets home!" When I look back, this is emotional abuse and I would never do this to my child. Making threats, making them live in fear is horrendous. Last year I had therapy for anxiety and depression. Believe it or not, a lot of it goes back to being a child and the way you were brought up. I don't really remember the smacks (apart from one that was issued with a studded leather belt), but I do remember the constant threats.

So overall, I agree with smacking your own child, but not out of anger or with the intent to hurt them. It's a physical form of correction when all other avenues have been exhausted.

A very well thought out comment and also very brave, i agree with your summing up and applaud your honesty.

Online smosher34

  • Reserve Baggie
  • ****
  • Posts: 1026
Re: Smacking children
« Reply #38 on: January 10, 2018, 10:44:22 AM »
this is the very reason kids have no respect anymore , at home or in school , my mom dad hit me when played up never done me any harm . country is a joke the jails will be full of moms dads on assult charges soon.

Offline OldburyWBA

  • Administrator
  • WBA Chairman
  • *****
  • Posts: 38439
Re: Smacking children
« Reply #39 on: January 10, 2018, 03:44:52 PM »
I had a couple of good hidings when I was younger and all fully deserved when I look back. I only ever smacked my daughter once when she was about 6/7 and never had to do it again. Didn't batter her, it was one mild smack. I do know someone was was hit with a cane stick on a regular basis, there is a massive difference between the two above things, one is discipline, the other abuse.

Today some do need a good hiding at times, the fact they run riot in the streets shows that, problem is those doing so will have kids of their own and things will get worse as they have done in the last 15/20 years.
B_H_Baggie : Dexy : Dudleylad : kris_boing : OldburyWBA
Hull Baggie : LiamTheBaggie : MarkW : Political Cake : tommcneill : WBArgo
www.FootballCardsDirect.com - Match Attax, Adrenalyn XL

Offline Nathan

  • Youth Baggie
  • ***
  • Posts: 647
Re: Smacking children
« Reply #40 on: January 10, 2018, 03:48:01 PM »
this is the very reason kids have no respect anymore , at home or in school , my mom dad hit me when played up never done me any harm . country is a joke the jails will be full of moms dads on assult charges soon.

I tend to agree. The FEAR of being smacked/punished for playing up was often enough for kids to respect their parents and teachers, without the smacking/punishment ever actually becoming an issue. If kids now know that they can get away with pretty much whatever they like without the fear of any serious repercussions, it's no wonder they have little or no respect for their parents and teachers and society in general.

Offline HampshireBaggie

  • Senior Baggie
  • *****
  • Posts: 3149
Re: Smacking children
« Reply #41 on: January 10, 2018, 04:09:32 PM »
I don’t think fear is how you teach respect. Respect can be taught with good parenting.

Offline Nathan

  • Youth Baggie
  • ***
  • Posts: 647
Re: Smacking children
« Reply #42 on: January 10, 2018, 04:20:43 PM »
I don’t think fear is how you teach respect. Respect can be taught with good parenting.

I agree that you shouldn't TEACH respect through fear but subconsciously if a child thought that playing up could lead to consequences that he or she might not like, they would certainly think twice before acting in a such a manner. A big part of growing up is learning and knowing what you should and shouldn't do and the knowledge that if you do wrong you have to face certain consequences relative to the severity of the wrong-doing. If a child thinks they can get away with anything relatively unpunished then there is a severe danger of their bad behaviour escalating.

Offline kc56wba

  • Site Donator
  • Senior Baggie
  • *****
  • Posts: 4214
Re: Smacking children
« Reply #43 on: January 10, 2018, 04:29:03 PM »
I don’t think fear is how you teach respect. Respect can be taught with good parenting.

Well if that is the fact then there are not many good parents around, cause the are not many children around that show rexpect to their elders or people in authority.
Smethwick Born, Tipton Bred. Worcester Oldie.

Offline LiamTheBaggie

  • @westbromcom
  • Global Moderator
  • WBA Manager
  • *****
  • Posts: 11753
Re: Smacking children
« Reply #44 on: January 10, 2018, 07:39:54 PM »
I don’t think fear is how you teach respect. Respect can be taught with good parenting.

If only it was ever that easy. There are far too many dysfunctional families around nowadays.

My dad was a very good parent - and we taught the basics of honesty and respect as true to our Christian values. However, there was times that I tested the boundaries both with him and school - my punishment was either losing my luxaries (which didnt bother me) or the occasional clip.

As said, if I got a clip, I never bloody did the same act again. My lesson was learned.

I also happen to think that if children were not running the roost in family homes and discipline was able to be provided by parents and schools without fear of being reported then we woild have a much better society today than we currently have. Youngsters nowadays can be arrogant, vile little bastards because we know we can get away with it. I did so myself a few times until I got my job.
B_H_Baggie : Dexy : Dudleylad : kris_boing : OldburyWBA
Hull Baggie : LiamTheBaggie : MarkW : Political Cake : tommcneill : WBArgo

Follow WestBrom.com on twitter - https://twitter.com/WestBromcom

Online smosher34

  • Reserve Baggie
  • ****
  • Posts: 1026
Re: Smacking children
« Reply #45 on: January 10, 2018, 09:30:18 PM »
I was smacked as a child in school many years ago and had cane all deserved . Made me think twice now  .kids now tell the police men or women to f off wouldnt dare in my day .

Offline adamw1109

  • Youth Baggie
  • ***
  • Posts: 335
Re: Smacking children
« Reply #46 on: Yesterday at 11:58:35 PM »
If someone genuinely believes you need to physically hit a child to teach them respect.... Should you be a parent?

To be shown respect you have to show respect.. it's a two way street.

Many of the older generation assume they deserve to be shown respect by the younger generation purely because they are older.... never once have I smacked my child and never once has he bad mouthed any elder.... good parenting is possible without having to physically force them.